Fashion, scening, the scene and safety…

I seem to average about a posting a month, lol.  I should probably work on that if I am going to develop any sort of regular readership   Getting the urge to write is one thing, having something to say is another (and in the eye of the reader I suspect…). 

I have a few topics and experiences to share this time!

I went out with my friend ~L~ and another crossdresser (in male-mode ugh!) to West Edmonton mall a few weeks ago to get him started with some basic makeup and some accessories (that was an expensive day, especially for him… MAC ain’t cheap!).  It was a fun afternoon out and ~L~ introduced me to several new shops that I have not been in before and I picked up some awesome stuff (including the best Mascara ever, this stuff is REALLY good) at Sephora (http://www.sephora.com for the store, you can find the mascara here: http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P112709&categoryId=S10510&shouldPaginate=true).  Now that I’ve looked at their website I see they have over 140 different mascaras, that’s insane!  Another good shop I was shown was the Make-Up store (name is just what it is!).  You can check out their site here: http://www.makeupstore.se/  Apparently Edmonton has the only Canadian store (they are a Swedish company) but they had allot of fun stuff although their product packaging was very MACesquie.

Just looking around these stores (especially Sephora, it was very large store) made me aware of how powerful the fashion industry was and how much influence it has on women’s lives.  I saw allot of very young women (girls) looking through all the products.  I had to admit I wonder how many of them actually needed the things they were purchasing and what their motives were.  Looking through any fashion magazine you can see what the industry would like you to believe.  This product will make you more desirable, will make you look younger, will give you the illusion of being thinner, will make you fit into the image we’re selling, etc… I do feel a bit of guilt from time to time as by crossdressing I myself am subscribing to this philosophy and supporting this industry (but it’s what I do and part of who I am… but why?).  It is a real double edged sword with what I do sometimes and I find it hard to find the answers.  The products and looks do make me feel good about myself and the image I can project to those around me… is that a bad thing… practicing a bit of escapism that, albeit is somewhat unusual, hurts no-one?  Who knows?   It reminded me of an incident in a Doctor’s waiting room I had a few months ago.  Whilst I was waiting for my turn to be seen a gorgeous young woman sat next to me in the waiting room.  Perfectly made up, well dressed, etc.  She picked up a magazine and I noticed she was reading the ads for facial cosmetic surgery.  I couldn’t believe it… seemed kind of sad. 

This must be moral dilemma day.  A basic unwritten rule in our community is you don’t “scene” around people where it is non-consensual (IE they are not in on it or aren’t in the “lifestyle”).  So here’s a question for you; when I go out dressed to a public place like a mall am I scening in public and would that be considered non-consensual?

Safety.  In our community it is a mantra that is repeated over and over again and is gone over ad-nausium.  With the type of play that we get up to in the community here safety is always an element of concern of course.  You should be reasonably proficient with whatever type of play you are doing and take the proper safety precautions.  I feel sometimes that we are getting too carried away with the safety aspects of everything.  We seem to be going overboard on being super-safe and missing out on what play is all about to start with (for most of us).  I don’t know if I am in the minority with this point of view but I think we can sometimes get a little too enthusiastic ensuring everyone is wrapped in cotton-wool and sterile to ensure they pass through whatever activities are done to them unscathed.  The play party might as well smell like a sterile hospital room (and I’ve been to some where the smell of cleaner is very prevalent).  I even found some support for this point of view in some of Fetish Diva Midori’s writing (she writes very interesting essays on kink).  Two quotes I found come to mind:

We need good information and quality education to maximize the fun, but there’s a point where we can lose sign of the forest for the trees.  The focus on tehnical expertise and sometimes near-paranoid focus on risk obliteration paralyzes players from living the joys of the experience itself. – Midori, Wild Side Sex:  The Book of Kink, Daedalus Publishing, 2005, pp 71 (Essay: 25 Years: Kink State of the Union).

and

Play parties smell more of antiseptic surface cleaners than sweat, blood and cum.  This may simply be part of the social evolution of the community, but it does dampen my leather lust.  I found myself wondering, `What’s going on here?’ – Midori, Wild Side Sex:  The Book of Kink, Daedalus Publishing, 2005, pp 116 (Essay: Measure of a Perv).

I have allot of respect for Midori and her writings and have seen her speak on several occasions.  She’s travelled the world preaching kink and has made a living out of it so I think her opinions carry of a bit of street credibility. 

I wonder how many other high profile kinksters are secretly thinking the same?

Oh ya, and she is incredibly hot in a latex dress.

The book I’ve quoted out of above is on my book list on this site if you are keen.  I would highly recommend it as an interesting and educational read!

I’d love to see some comments/feedback on some of the issues I’ve raised in this posting!  Comment away!